One-Word Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Beyond.

That's the one-word review my industry insider used to describe the latest 1980s toy-based popcorn flick to hit theaters.

Obviously "beyond" leaves a lot for interpretation. Based on my insider's penchant for G.I Joe and our previous conversations about how this movie could easily be the Speed Racer of 2009 (he disagreed), I'm going to venture out and say that this means we're looking at an over-the-top action bonanza filled with explosions, pretty people and terrible dialog.

As my friend further revealed, "I think I'm going to get G.I Joe toys and stage mock battles at my desk for funsies."

Basically it's likely an "all-in-the-trailer" kind of flick--what you see is what you're going to get. And from what I've seen, I'm not sure I care to take in anymore, especially with ticket prices as high as they are now.



Maybe it's those modified suits that apparently allow our G.I.s to move more like "Iron Men" through battles, but there's something about this movie that feels a little dated. I definitely get more of a Mortal Combat vibe than a Star Trek revamp, that's for sure. And I was going to call out Channing Tatum, but he's since redeemed himself outside of this film (see here), I won't. I will, however, openly wonder why Sienna Miller continues to get work and what Dennis Quaid is doing in this.

With all the rock 'em, sock 'em summer flicks inundating this summer's slate, I think I'll skip this latest attempt because I'm sure it's not far enough "beyond" it's schlocky premise.

G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra premieres August 7.